


your favorite boy

by bread_boy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: But just a tiny bit, Canon Compliant, M/M, mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26168734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bread_boy/pseuds/bread_boy
Summary: In which Felix muses over alternate lifetimes and playing favorites while Chris muses over him.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 12
Kudos: 157





	your favorite boy

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by finding skz ep 2 where they went to visit [chan's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBNB8ZutH4E&list=PLFMd_DSISfFaOS50IxgisNp3D6X80KSAc&index=16) [home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M_0yCtSxpQ&list=PLFMd_DSISfFaOS50IxgisNp3D6X80KSAc&index=17) in australia. it made me feel so warm and nostalgic, then paired with an endless loop of best friend by rex orange county, this fic was born.

Chris finds Felix hunched over by the steps leading to his childhood home's backyard, his small frame bowed in a relaxed slump. As he ambles over, steps quiet and muffled by the cacophony behind them, the first thing Chris notices is the can of beer Felix's holding in one hand, his arm perched on one knee.

In the privacy of this corner, Felix is slightly bobbing his head to the beat of a song only he seems attuned to. Chris shouldn't find this endearing enough to a warrant an amused smile, but he does– grinning like he can't help it, dimples pressed into the corners of his mouth.

"Lix." Chris calls once he's close enough for his shadow to eclipse Felix, a dark curtain that completely dims his little hideout. At this, Felix sits a little straighter before tilting his head up.

"Oh." His expression immediately melts into something soft when he realizes who it is, eyes squinting into delighted half-moons. "Hey, Chris."

"Hey yourself." Chris snorts, yet he barely suppresses the grin that soon takes over his face. He taps Felix's leg in a silent request to scoot over before joining him on the steps, stretching his legs as he leans back to rest his weight on both elbows.

Then he cocks his head at Felix, glancing at the can before raising an eyebrow. "Where'd you get that?"

Felix stares at him owlishly, clearly working through the sludge in his brain caused by the alcohol in his system. Chris watches the exact moment his words click into something coherent, with Felix licking his lips before finally responding, "Someone gave it to me."

It's a callback to a previous exchange they've had before, except then it was in front of a virtual audience, with Felix proudly brandishing an egg, much to Chris' bewildered confusion.

This time, however, Chris only shakes his head, plucking the beer can right from Felix's fingers before he can even begin to protest. Thankfully, it's still mostly full, but Felix had drank enough to leave him buzzed, his reaction time delayed by a full three seconds before he's making grabby hands at Chris.

"Hyung," he whines in Korean, drawing the single syllable out. "give it baaack."

"Nope." Chris says heartlessly, popping the "P" for emphasis. "It's a good thing the cameras are off right now," he continues pointedly, the staff they'd come with to film currently helping themselves to his parents' cooking. "but we can't be too careful. Especially since a quarter of this stuff already has you acting like that."

By _that_ , Chris means the chastised giggling Felix breaks into, muffled behind a small hand, his cheeks flushed a lovely pink that Chris greedily takes in, starved of the sight since the night had started. It hits him then, how Felix had been too stiff and too quiet all throughout the house tour up until dinner, stuffing his face with barbecue and grilled shrimp in lieu of engaging in any type of conversation.

Chris mentally berates himself for not catching on sooner, nudging Felix by the knee with his own before letting it settle there, a singular point of contact between their bodies that makes Chris' fingertips tingle.

He wrangles the thought away before it can fester, instead watches the way Felix tilts his face up to the night sky, inky black with flecks of glimmering white that seem to reflect in his own eyes.

"Felix?"

"Hmm?"

Chris brings a hand up to settle at the back of Felix's neck, the gesture second nature by now. He squeezes once, twice, unblinking as Felix reacts accordingly, a pleased smile easing into his features, sticky-sweet-slow like honey.

"You good?" His voice comes out gruffer than usual, the tips of his ears reddening as he clears his throat, then continues, "You've been quiet."

It's a statement he leaves open for interpretation, makes it seem like he's relaying an observation even when his brow is creased with worry. Felix seems to catch on this time, muscles tightening under the gentle yet calloused curve of Chris' palm.

"I've just..." Felix trails off, as if he'd lost his train of thought midway, persevering through the fog in his mind to say, "been thinking."

Chris purses his lips, makes an effort to keep his gaze soft yet assessing. He's always been a bit too perceptive when it comes to Felix, almost to the point of being overbearing, yet he can't help it. It's like a gravitational pull, the way his hand migrates from the nape of Felix's neck to his shoulder, reeling him in until his cheek is softly pressed on the top of Felix's head.

"What are you thinking about?" Chris probes in that gentle, unassuming way of his, his voice curling in the humid evening air. He lets the question drift, knows from experience that Felix will come to heed it in his own pace, and if he doesn't, well, Chris thinks that's okay too.

Sure enough, silence blankets over them, yet this one is a comforting weight, gentle when it brushes Chris' cheek before settling on his shoulders. Felix makes a peculiar sound, like he's sucking his bottom lip into the back of his teeth, tongue pressing against the roof of his mouth.

"I guess it's just weird, but also kind of funny," Felix finally ventures, his gaze distant, unreadable in the shadows. "driving around Sydney made me think about how we could've met in so many ways. How we could've gone to the same school, could've been best mates. And yet."

Felix pauses, the quiet between them stretched thin. Chris idly wonders what they look like from an outsider's perspective, if he's angled his body just enough to hide Felix from prying eyes in this moment of open vulnerability.

"And yet," Felix repeats, a sigh caught between the two words. "it took me going on a survival show, debuting in an idol group and having my first concert in our home city to wind up here, in your house. Tummy full of lamb chops and looking at the stars in your backyard."

Chris absorbs this with a thoughtful hum, his arm still wrapped securely around Felix; if anything, he surreptitiously draws him closer, as if the gesture is a prelude to his next words.

"Aren't you glad it happened the way it did, though?" The question eases out of him far too easily, like a secret he's been harboring for years, like an afterthought he now has the right words for. "Sure, we could've gone to the same school, ended up being best mates, but I like to think that that version of Felix and Chris would've been different from what we are today. 'Cause everything that lead up to this moment– the things we've done, places we've been to, everything we've achieved– all of that made us what we are today. And–"

Chris extracts himself from his hold on Felix, something tender nudging at his chest when he's met with the sight of Felix's dazed expression. "And I like what we have now, Lix. Just the way it is. You and me."

Felix blinks, eyelashes fluttering in that slow, bashful way whenever Chris gets a little too earnest, a little too transparent in expressing his affection.

"...you and me." Felix repeats, slowly, as if relishing the taste and feel of those three words.

For some reason, Chris feels his mouth drying at the sight, but the moment is ruined by a sudden gust of wind that causes a small commotion in the open dining area. Glancing over his shoulder, Chris can't help but chuckle at the sight of Hyunjin and Jeongin trying their best to salvage some of the paper plates, and when he turns back he finds himself pinned down with that same penetrating gaze.

Another wave of silence envelops them, but this time it feels static, like the air is charged with some new energy drawn purely from the growing sparkle in Felix's eyes.

Later, Chris will relive this moment and conclude that it must be the alcohol that makes Felix go off on a tangent, whispering conspiratorially, "But what if we met differently?"

Then, hook, line and sinker: "D'you reckon I'd still be your favorite?"

And it's then that Chris understands; there is no room for pretenses here, and that Felix can be just as bold as he is observant, just as smug as he is flustered whenever the members or even Chris himself makes it known that he's always been in Chris' favor. The apple of Chris' eye. His favorite boy.

Felix sways a little as he leans into Chris' space, but he's got a determined look on his face, like he's ready to hang on to his next words.

So Chris takes his time, stares at this boy with his bleached hair and his sweet, downturned mouth, freckles barely peeking through the foundation, some of it caking under the bags of his eyes; those sharp, perceptive eyes that can turn mellow in a heartbeat, eyes that have always looked at him from across the stage, in the devastating aftermath of his elimination, the constricted space of their bunk bed, now.

Now.

"Of course," The words come easy, frighteningly so. Like he couldn't have stopped them even if he tried. "you'd still be my favorite. My favorite boy."

This time, Chris' mouth goes well and truly dry as he witnesses firsthand what this admission does to Felix. The way his cheeks flush an even deeper pink, lips parting on an exhale like he'd been holding his breath the entire time.

"Me too." Felix drops his gaze, ducking his head demurely. After a beat or two, he looks up at Chris through long, long eyelashes, his half-lidded gaze hypnotizing in their proximity. "You'll always be my favorite too, Chris."

"Hey lovebirds!"

Chris is startled right out of his stupor as Jisung bounds towards them, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere, judging by the wide grin pushing at his round cheeks.

"We're having Lammos for dessert!"

"Lammos!" Felix exclaims, his entire face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning, almost as if a switch had been flipped inside him at the prospect of an authentic Australian snack. He jumps up, stumbling a little from the sudden movement, but Chris is already there to steady him with an arm around his shoulder.

Felix flashes him a dazzling smile to convey his gratitude, his small hand finding Chris' fingers, clinging to them in that endearing way he does.

"Thanks, hyung." he says sweetly, emphasizing on the honorific like he knows exactly what it does to Chris, his face warming both from Felix's shamelessness and Jisung's scrutiny.

As they walk back to the awaiting crowd, Felix takes the lead, keeping Chris in tow with a surprisingly firm grip on his hand. The gesture melts away the little resolve that Chris has left, and it's then that he halts their steps before they're within anyone else's earshot.

"I mean it," he says, spurred on by the puzzled yet amused look Felix fixes him with. "any way we could've met, any way I could've had you– it doesn't matter. You'll always be my favorite, Lix."

As if on cue, the wind picks up again, its warmth prickling his skin, the sound rushing past his ears, and Felix looks at him in this sobering moment with nothing but open, heartmelting fondness, hair mussed and eyes scrunched in the corners from his infectious grin.

Chris swallows down the swell of overwhelming love he feels for this boy– his favorite boy in the whole world, and in any lifetime– and steps forward.

  



End file.
